Follow That Hound!

Hello Babies! Its me, Unkle George of Noo England

Dis is very haaaaaaaaaaad to talk about, but yu need to no dat life will KNOT always be froliking on da comforter in Mama Caffies kitchin, and snuggling wiff yur stuffies. No, der is a reel whirled outside, and sometimes, poopin can be danjerus.  Juss yesterday I, a houndie of 05 years, who been around da trak qwite a few times, neerly lost ma life just on accounta poopin! Its troo! Let me start at da start:

Mommy came home at da usual time. I did da happy danse, and treet her to a few smiles. She likes dat! And out we go. Things were going reely well. I was gettin all kinds of biskies just for tinkling outside. Soon ah began to feel perhaps it was time to fill up a baggie iffen yu no what I meen! No…yu probly dont, but dis is a fambly board, so I will let Mama Caffie splain it to yu reel qwiet in person. I like ma privacy, so I led Mommy into da woods a bit. She was most cooperative. I thot I found a gud spot–no, wait. I dont like da looks of dat leaf. Here’s a gud spot–no, wait. I heard a noise. Here’s a gud spot…nuts, dat branch over der distrakted me. Now dis is da perfect spot…and juss as I was gracefully hunching maself into position, Mommy said Oh %*$%&! George, run! And she took off like a…like a Greyhound!

Unforchewnately, ah did KNOT see what she was running frum, and sadly stepped rite on it.

It was a house of bees!

And dey was all over me! Der was won on ma tail. Der was one on ma butt. Der was two on my chest! Mommy was swatting and brushing and I was bucking and twisting, but it was too late. Dey was poking me!!!!! Dat is rite! Bees habs pins in der butts, and dey stab yu and stab yu…

I do KNOT wish to frighten yu to much. Ah no yu are still babies. But yu need to no…STAY AWAY FRUM DES GUYS

Mommy race me inside and rub me all over wiff a nice cool cloth, and den she open up ma mouf and shubbed pills in der. Den she call Houndie 911, and talk to Doktor Bev about ma life and death sitchyashun. Docktor Bev said I wood be all rite iffen I surbibed for 15 long minutes. Da minits on da clock dragged like howrs as we awaited ma fate…and after a while, Mommy kissed me and said I wood be OK! After another few minutes, da pills started to make me feel funny…

Ah do KNOT no what dey were, but I slept like a log all nite!

Not to worry Georgia, ah am OK! The moral of da story is: look before yu skwat!!

Lubs,

Unkle George